“I will go in this way and find my own way out”

“I will go in this way and find my own way out”

Lonely, isolated, misunderstood - I suppose we all often experience these wretched emotions from time to time. Adolescence (the awkward and emotionally volatile period) is expected to be both electrifying and despairing; adulthood – or the “thirties” – has no such expectations.

I would be remiss to live through days, weeks, months without acknowledging the lingering, waxing and waning multi-layered experiences of loneliness. In spite of the increasing quality of those whom I call friend or a partner there is still a profound, synchronized connection I yearn for that often seems absent.

“I’m coming slow but speeding”

Acceptance is the complete and total appreciation for someone or something. I have found absolute acceptance of others - including myself - elusive. The complementary qualities that lure two individuals to develop a bond are in fact, the very characteristics that create contention, distance and misunderstandings within relationships. I surmise it is then the inability or unwillingness of the opposing individuals to understand the needs of one another that creates the disconnection.

If we are to genuinely connect we must first, embrace our individualized traits and second, accept the balancing partner for their absolute reverse abilities in order to develop and maintain harmony. Synchronicity involves two separate and distinct entities working together, seamlessly in union without discord.

I feel suffocated by the discord.

A Teacher

"What is it, this love? The love which flows through us and beyond us?"

"Whitaker the man and the teacher will continue to flow into the story of our knowledge about human beings. His life, his thought, and his rapport with human suffering will continue to be appreciated by new generations of family therapists. As they grow tired of the endless models, new approaches, and supertechniques, in the end, they will yearn to find human beings and their qualities in the real world and not in the microscope. Whitaker's legacy will be revalued even by those who kept their distance during his lifetime, labeling him as "bizarre" and "irrational." Carl was a pioneer in family therapy, a giant, who did not allow himself to be seduced into creating a myth around his personality. He died without any official disciples, but he trained a multitude of therapists around the world, sometimes unbeknownst to them, with the power of integrity and coherence. He taught us more about life than about techniques. He taught us about the search for ourselves and our own spiritual essence, through the experience of suffering and solitude. "

-Excerpt from JMFT-1996 - Andolfi Maurizio after the death of Carl Whitaker

Carpe Diem

The struggle with creativity and inspiration is that often these fleeting moments occur when you are unable to take the imaginative power to its tangible outcome. Conversely, it seems that the daily events that consume so much time carrying out less creative endeavors are also the very events that birth the inspiration and creativity.

There is much to be said about being “in the moment” and using introspection as the springboard for infinite possibilities of creating and subsequently inspiring others. These “moments of clarity” often arrive without notice, forethought or even preparation. Moreover, within these moments lies the meta-analysis of ourselves, others, intentions, understandings, meanings and emotion - priceless glimpse into profound wisdom of the human condition.

I deeply value and cherish the times when my intellect and perceptual psyche are in harmony. I value my unexpected inspirational moments because, as with most of life’s treasures, if these instances are wasted, procrastinated or even brushed aside the probability of when this may occur again is unknown.

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero – "seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow"

Foreboding and Benevolence

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Awareness has hastened upon my spirit. Familiarity breeds contempt, I was once advised. Wise words meant for specific circumstances.

I know well my own internal, emotional compass and it is when this compass points south – despite my own impediment to move the dial otherwise – I should always take heed and take action. As sure as I may know what I should do in moments of emotional unrest alas, I have again chosen to turn a blind eye to wisdom.

There lies a large chasm between those who are wise, empathetic, deeply intuitive individuals and those who live lives riddled with self-centered behavior, one-dimensional cognitions, and judgmental commentaries.

Enjoy and revel in the plights, flaws and misunderstandings of all others. Perched upon minarets, a throne only made for one, pointing, scoffing, and chortling with sinister delight.

The hateful aspersions; incessantly echoed with bellowing satisfaction, or when in fear of retribution the explication is a soft innuendo slithered from the lips of one through the clefts of the ears to another.

This, to me, is the lowest and most unexamined life one could ever live.

Sadly reprehensible.

I vow to heed my internal warnings and never allow bitterness or contempt to overcome who I am created to be in this world.

Two Flew Over the Cuckoo

Two Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

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Indolent Living

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So often, people are content to sit and watch silently the demise of others. This indolent living is apparent in everyday life, whether you are perusing the aisles of your local grocery store or waiting in line at the movie theater, you can notice the expressionless gaze of humanity.

It seems as of late the concern and empathy for others is waning. Look for yourself, smile at strangers while shopping or waiting in the doctor’s office. When you take this brief moment to pass along a generous non-verbal expression, consider the reaction you receive – if any at all.

I think everyone is eating lemons before they leave the house.

Hope is Lost

Eternal hope can be incredibly damming. Always hoping for others to achieve some sort of potential, develop personal insight or even give a crap can, if provided the right circumstances, create excruciating heartache in the “hoper.”

Time after time, the disappointment and gut wrenching emotional torture creates a level of resentment so deep that the once accepted empty apologies are nothing but white noise to the ears. Time will not heal the wounds. All that is left is the calloused and yellowing scars of the lies and destruction.