Imperfect Perfection

We all spend a great deal of our life (at least the portion of our life where we are cognitively aware of our individual existence) worrying, ruminating and even performing based on our perception of what others may or may not think of us. Somewhere around our third decade of life we begin gain the insight that everyone (ourselves included) had always been doing nothing more than “performing” to satisfy our own neurotic desires.

What does this mean?

Is perception really reality?

And if so, what does it take to alter our “reality” in order to evoke a prudent change?

Is it love, acceptance, the ability to empathize with humanity?

Whatever the answer, these existential queries led me to the subsequent introspection, or vice-versa. .

I heard a very touching monologue in a movie I recently watched. The premise of said movie was based on the true account of a screenwriter. The main character, a man in his early thirties was experiencing what we call depersonalization disorder, or a form of dissociation. Depersonalization is exactly what it sounds like; the feeling as though an individual is disconnected from themselves emotionally, like watching themselves in a movie. The primary concern is that the individual is still very much cognitive of their situation. Much akin to the axiom that ‘if one thinks they are “crazy” they are most likely not “crazy.” The crass, and at times clever account of this man’s life was mildly entertaining but it was the admirable and deeply romantic love story that moved me.

The love that was portrayed in this film was a charming demonstration of what unconditional love should represent. More specifically, this monologue (as emoted by the female lead) is an amiable description of unconditional, wholehearted, passionate, very real love.

“I want to know that if I lost all my limbs, we'd still be together forever. When you say my name it would always sound safe. When we go out I would put on perfume and you would put on cologne and we would sit next to each other and just smell each other. I would know that you could always make me smile when I was tired and I would never be scared to tell you anything. And if I liked one of your favorite shirts you would let me wear it every day just so I could smell you when you’re not with me. I want a love just like my grandmother and grandfather; you see my grandmother has arthritis and can’t bend over to paint her toenails so my grandfather does it for her and never complains, even though he has arthritis too."

Beautiful!!