I read an article in a neo-feminist women’s magazine a few weeks ago in my local hair salon while artificially altering my hair color. The article was titled “Analyze This.. Therapy Pro and Con” Intrigued, but with a smidgen of skepticism I began to explore the editorial. The author (a woman in her early thirties) began by recounting her “pro” experiences with a PhD therapist who, based on the recounting of the sessions, appeared to be more of a reflective, “Rogerianesque” type of clinician. The writer discussed her therapist’s suggestions of sibling jealousy between the financially successful writer and her domestically successful sister. Her narrative itself was mildly interesting with, as expected a poignant ending to the story - discovering that her therapist was, in fact correct in his/her assumptions of the writer’s systemic/family dynamics. If the article had stopped there perhaps that would be been a decent ending to an ordinary but informative story…..but there was more. The four page crap fest continued with a side bar of “Shrink Deal Breakers, find out if you need to dump yours.” This idiotic “list” included such items as “find another therapist if yours blogs, wears a toupee” and my favorite, “has a catchphrase.” I will be the first to admit that not every person that walks into a therapist’s office will develop an instant rapport and become sold on mental health, but to end therapy based on such trivial issues like catchphrases? And how would some neurotic, feminist “journalist” who writes for a women’s magazine be an expert on what makes a good therapist? These were just a few of my concerns about the shallow, arrogant and much uninformed commentary.
I then moved over to another personal story in hopes that I could calm my internal seething. The last portion of the article was written by a 20-something, woman who had participated in psychotherapy for a number of years while residing in a big metropolitan city. This woman’s story was the “therapy con” portion of the article and actually was far more intriguing than the “pro” portion. The woman discussed her life issues, struggles and weekly therapy sessions that seemed to be a requirement of her social circle. After an undisclosed number of years living out her life and making decisions based on a psychoanalyst’s “insights” the woman moved to an animal farm near the outskirts of this city and began a “simple life” of scooping horse dung while contemplating life’s “real issues.” She discussed her innate ability to develop her own brand of insight, problem solving and inner peace all while working with horses and their excretions. I was inspired and amazed at this woman’s ability to take her self-consumed world and look outside of herself to transform her cognitive processes through helping others. This concept is at the heart of what life change and ultimately therapy, is about. In addition to her inspiring story this woman made a statement that was so clear, concise and irreverent I had to read the passage several times to ensure I had grasped the truth in the statement. She wrote, “Some people use therapy to justify their own stagnation.” ABSOLUTELY!!! I could not agree more. In fact, perhaps some people who enter therapy need to be told that this statement may really be the crux of their “issues.” A responsible and ethical therapist will and should let their client’s know when their weekly sessions have become a breeding ground for an idle life. A neurotic, hyper-focus on life issues - irrelevant and perhaps destructive to our cognition is not helpful and probably causes one to truly live their life unexamined.
If shoveling horse manure can allow one to shift their focus from “my mother never loved me enough” to “my mother did the best she could with what she had and it is up to me to stop blaming everyone else for my self-inflicted suffering” then let us all shovel crap – both literally and figuratively.
